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Displaying items by tag: funny travel stories

Monday, 26 April 2010

Mas Economico Bus

I have the gracefulness of a two-legged donkey. I blame this on the fact that I was born two months early and cross-eyed. They correlate. I was born with the primordial hand-eye coordination of a baby having missed essential belly time– thus, my cross-eyed ungainly self. As I am now 5´8¨ (praise my mother’s sagacity in gorging me with whole milk for the eighteen years I resided in her house) and an elephantine beast in 96% of countries worldwide, I consider myself a fairly impervious force.

Published in inept

You arrive in the surprisingly bustling city of Tena, Ecuador after an incredible week spent in the Galapagos Islands.  Tena is the last major outpost before a hundred or so miles of jungle and then Peru. Bisected by rivers, the town hosts five different Adventure Travel Operators offering tours that all seem to be interesting and perfectly fun.  You:

A) Sign up for one of these tours.

B) Decide to go a different direction by renting a bike and trying to find a lagoon along the Rio Anzu (recommended by a local), using a map drawn on a napkin.

Published in inept
Sunday, 28 September 2008

In Translation: Language Gaffes in Brazil

Learning a new language can open you to a new world. In Portuguese, when you ask if someone if they have been to a place before, the direct translation is, “Do you know…?”

After living in Brazil for two years, I feel confidant in saying, “Yes, I know Brazil.”

For me one of the best parts of learning a new language are the slip-ups.

Here are some of my favorites:

Pay Day

Published in inept
Saturday, 05 July 2008

Rumble in the Jungle

If my first three weeks in the Thai jungle taught me one thing, it was this: I was not prepared, mentally or emotionally, to be a guide. There was nothing I could really do about that, and while it’s never stopped me from doing anything before (and it certainly wasn’t going to stop me now), I figured the least I could do was be better equipped.

Published in inept
Monday, 05 May 2008

Battling Buffalos in Pokhara

It all started to go wrong when a moment of sheer impulse led me to jump into the murky lake.

Together with two girlfriends, I had been travelling around Nepal for a month or so, and, finally back in Pokhara after a grueling Annapurna trek, plus a suicidal bout of amoebic dysentery, I decided it was time to give my miserable body a break.

Published in inept

“Where are you going this time?”  Family and friends asked.

“Well, I can’t exactly pronounce it,” I confessed.  “But I can spell it:  H-L-A-B-I-S-A.”

“Where?” they chorused.

“It’s a rural area in north-western Kwa Zulu Natal, South Africa.”

Blank looks followed by further questioning: “But where in South Africa?  I mean which country?  Zimbabwe?  Zambia?”

Published in inept
Monday, 24 September 2007

Ahmed Namazi & Me

Ahmed Namazi. That's the name that nearly ended my first trip to Israel before it could get off the ground.  Ahmed—“Excuse me sir, please come this way, yes right over here, and please take of your sandals…”—Namazi.

Published in inept
Saturday, 01 July 2006

Denial Tastes Good

Just before a big trip happens I always get very nervous, as though my family and friends, house, cats, and job cannot survive without me.   Pre-flight, I’m like a man slowly marching to his execution ---  and he doesn’t get to say goodbye.   Dramatic and silly but nonetheless true, when it’s time to go, all I want to do is stay.  Until I actually leave. And then reality slaps me into remembering I don’t have to deal with my mother if I’m far away.


Published in inept

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